Why people date other marrieds?
Chat about a loaded issue that no one wants to talk about, this is it. Funny thing, affairs have been going on from ancient times. Extramarital relationships can be filled with problems, cause despair, and other problems. In addition you have to wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and sincerety thing, money, age dissimilarity, spiritual background, remorse, and on and on. I anticipate there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this post I shall define an affair as a long term, maybe decades long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, date married woman.
Why do men have extramarital affairs? There are as many reasons as there are seeking affair. I suppose mostly though it is only the human nature, the need for affection, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and respected. Here are a several explanations I have run across.
Biologically we as human beings are all sexual creatures. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasurable and fun, and sex makes us get away the world for a brief period of time. This ecstasy exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Some people are able to switch the desire on and off, some are good at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and mature, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the exhilaration of the chase. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the caring for another being, for some it is the longing to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the entire romance thing. These wishes and yearnings can be so strong they overcome the taboos culture has erected against extra-marital affairs. For many individuals the yearnings will defeat their doubts and make them risk the anger of not only their family, but the public too. So why, what is the means?
Sex Addicts, possibly some of us are. Sex is awfully pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of physically driven sex addicts and can find away to have sex and not wound your spouse or anyone else? You would need to lessen the danger you are taking. If you have the attitude that a good affair is one that is advantageous to everyone, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the major cluster, very big truly. There are many couples whose marital relationships is over, apart from they feel happy in the manner they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Then there are the children to look after. Your funds are so tangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to live together besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical reasons that stop them completing the sex performance, at least not with their othere half. An marital affair sometimes solves the difficulty while keeping the marriage whole.
Neglect, sorrowfully this is a frequent reason I fear. One or the other, usually the man is sexually neglecting his woman for a number of reasons. As a male I really am grateful to you guys neglecting your girls and making them accessible to us guys of romance, making them “lonely wives” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just omitted in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Probably its romance that is missing, maybe it is a lack of love, could be caring is not here, could be it is the closeness, could be neglect. Could be we have simply grown apart, our ordinary interests diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is opposed to of what you want. Could be I simply don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that sensation that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The first reason people give is, they search for the excitement that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run away, for economic gain, for vengeance and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.
Tags: affairs, Dating, dating married people, extramarital affairs, Marriage, married dating, seeking an affair